Saying Yes to Adoption a Second Time
Surprise pregnancies are a somewhat common occurrence. Surprise adoptions I would guess are a bit fewer and far between.
Our first adoption process was relatively smooth. We always thought we would adopt, we started the process, and we brought home our little girl from China. There were no supernatural signs from God pointing the way, mostly just gentle nudges that we were on the right path.
The moment we got Suhn, the “relatively smooth” caught a glitch. Suhn grieved hard when she came to us and rejected me up front in the process. She was 2.5-years-old; old enough to know something she didn’t like was taking place, but not old enough to understand why. When we arrived home from China her grief didn’t stop. She warmed up to me a little, but she would have so many unpredictable moments it turned our home-life upside down. It took about a year for her to adjust and for our lives to recover and feel somewhat normal again.
Our first year with Suhn was challenging. The bonding process was tough and my well-ordered world was turned upside down. I loved my little girl, but because of our tough transition, I remember thinking I never wanted to adopt again. And, I remember praying; “Lord if you want us to adopt a second time you need to make it extremely obvious.”
The God of Heaven took my prayer, laughed a little and sent an answer in the form of an email.
We met Dawn and her husband in China. They were adopting Grace at the same time that we were adopting Suhn. Our girls had lived together in China in a group foster home. One year after we brought them home, Dawn was back in China to complete their second adoption. During this trip, they stopped to visit the home where Grace and Suhn had lived.
“Don’t shoot me,” the e-mail read, “But while we were visiting Angel House the director of the project asked if I would send a picture of a little boy to you and see if you would consider adopting him.”
I remember laughing nervously, showing the email to my husband, and moving on. But as it goes with things of this nature, I couldn’t quite move on.
A few weeks later, Suhn asked if we could look through her baby pictures. I had recently put together a small album filled with the pictures her foster home had sent us before she came home. We were about halfway through the book when I found it.
“Kory, you will never believe this,” I said as I took the book across the room for him to see. There before us was a picture of Suhn and the little boy from the email smiling up at the camera like they were meant to be brother and sister.
It made an impression on both of us. But still, adoption was hard. The little boy had cerebral palsy. Could we handle two kids with special needs? And anyway, how would we even find his file to begin the process? There were hundreds of thousands of kids waiting to be adopted in China, how could we find this specific one?
We decided to make a call to our agency, just to see. I explained the situation to the woman on the phone, gave her the little information we had and asked if it was even possible to find his file.
“Give me just a second,” she responded and literally within seconds she was back. “I found his file, would you like me to send it to you?”
Every door seemed to be flying open. God was making it extremely obvious that this little boy was supposed to be a part of our family. But taking the next step and committing to adopt and officially begin the process still felt so hard.
During this time, a new book, Love Does by Bob Goff, had just released and found its way into my hands. This is a dangerous book to read when you are contemplating major life decisions. As I read, the following words/ideas from the book kept rolling around in my head,
“I think God sometimes uses the completely inexplicable events in our lives to point us toward Him. We get to decide each time whether we will lean in toward what is unfolding and say yes or back away. … So the next time God asks you to do something that is completely inexplicable, something you’re sure is a prank because it requires a decision or courage that’s way over your pay grade, something that might even save lives, say yes.”
I knew in my heart that God was asking us to say yes to the little boy from the email. So we did. We took a step of faith called our agency and started the process to bring Zak home. And wow, what a gift we received! Zak has a contagious laugh and an amazing determination. He completes our family and I know without a doubt he was meant to be ours.
Lifesong for Orphans helps families say yes, through adoption grants and loans. We believe money should never be the reason a child doesn’t have a family. If you want to find more information on how to apply for a grant or loan or help Christian families adopt go to lifesong.org/adoption
Megan is a mom to six. She is also an avid reader. When she has time, she blogs at www.youngbooklove.com where she helps parents discover books their kids will fall for.